I am the founder of kneejerk-reactionism (KJx), colloquially known as the Onanistic Ascendancy, a political philosophy and intellectual movement that may cause chafing. Most people spend their lives swimming in the shallow end, afraid to venture forth. Not me. I have gone off the deep end. I tread the water of the bottomless oceans of knowledge. I pose the questions others, in their fear and ignorance, are too afraid to ask. My ideas are fresh. They are revolutionary. They are ideas that would shock you. For instance, what if we had a king with absolute power, but he didn't abuse it because he was basically an okay guy? I just blew your mind, didn't I? Well, hold tight because I'm not done sucking. What if I told you, real or not, the death of God was a problem? Or that all great empires eventually fall? No, I'm not Nostradamus, and I don't have a crystal ball. I am a cloud architect who prefers non-fiction. I see the future because I look to the past. I sift through history to confirm my suspicions, and I always arrive at where I started: the truth. Listen to me, for I have outlined a plan, and that plan comes with links, quotes, and a footnote. It is sprawling, and I am prolific. Ignore me at your peril.

 

A quick note.

 

I have no political leanings one way or the other. While I am certainly not a progressive, I don't consider myself a conservative. I am nothing more than a neutral observer. But don't take my word for it. Read my manifesto below.

 

An Open Letter to Open-minded Libtards.